Grieving has consequences. Serious, mind numbing, life paralyzing consequences. I call it the collateral damage to loving so much it hurts too bad to consider ever doing it again. Grieving is the yin to the deep love of living that is its yang. I get it. I really, really, do! I know what grieving is. How hard it is to get through once you get pulled into it. I know what loving costs. As a veterinarian I see pet loss and grieving daily. It is the painful sunset consequence to every jubilant new puppy and kitten exam we get to share. Where there is a beginning for these new bundles there is also often a decade or more of rich, deep love that at some point meets it end. That goodbye can cost more than anyone signs up for when they go to bring home their new companion. Saying goodbye often causes a forever farewell for many pet parents. I fear too often that their grief often comes with an ultimatum for never grieving again. Overwhelmingly I get three responses when my clients lay to rest their last pet... 1. "We want to travel." 2. "They are too expensive." 3. "I never want to feel this heartbreak again. It's too much." Do you wonder how many people say this to me? A LOT. I have started to classify them, and by "them" I include all people who have to say adieu to their beloved pets, into two categories. Number one. My category. The place where sharing our lives with pets is our purpose. The people who can't imagine, nor have ever dared, to not have a pet in our life. The people who can't live, won't live, wouldn't even try to imagine living without a pet in their life. I am this person. I grieve but I get back in the saddle. Again. And, Again. It never gets easier to grieve the next time. Even with all my practice. Number Two; everyone else.
Whenever I fear one of these reasons I always find it is almost impossible for me to answer these without clarifying who I am and what my life looks like. I LOVE to travel. In fact as I pen this I am on a train to NYC and then onto Boston. It is a 5 day jaunt. My three pups are with my parents. I am incredibly lucky to have parents who tolerate two puppies who most of the time act like deranged lunatics on an endless sugar high. The puppies love being there, and my parents love the puppy antics they entertain them with. We are a pet centered family. We all share each others pets and they share each others homes. If you aren't as lucky as I am to have family or friends share custody there are other options like Rover.com, or a boarding facility like my clinic runs. If you are a person who thinks that long term boarding, frequent boarding or even day trips are needed start acclimating your pup as soon as you get them. Make boarding a "normal" activity. Ask if you can start with a day or two a week and work up to overnights. Also get to know the boarding staff. They (we sure do) will send you daily photos, updates and help make their vacation as much fun as yours. If these don't work share your home with a pet sitter, or your pet can stay at doggie camp while you are away. If finances are tight a staycation, or working vacation are options. In some cases you can even bring your pet with you, although this might be too stressful for some pets. I have clients who chose to travel by motor home so their pets can be with them at all times.
Comments
I feel you. I'm a veterinarian too.
I believe that's pretty hard to accept.
It takes years of experience.
I'm glad to have this community to share this wonderful stody.
Cheer up!